Are You Still Motivated? HOW?
I was recently asked “How do you stay motivated?”. I do
speak about motivation, but usually not on a personal level.
So, forgive me, but I will be talking about me, myself, and I
for the next few moments.
The fact is, I am not always motivated. Motivation is not
something that just happens. If you are human at all, you
know that you do not always want to be productive.
The 3 “Selfs”
You like to sit and watch a movie, take a vacation,
take a nap – maybe take another nap. That’s okay.
I enjoy those things, but there is more. The “More” part
is self-responsibility, self-reliance, and self-respect.
I would feel worse taking that nap when I knew
that I had things to do that are going to
keep my family fed (self-reliance).
I know that there are a lot of people who rely on the information
that I give them to help keep THEM motivated,
and that I need to keep up with reliable content (self-reponsibility).
Self-respect is something that I would lose quickly
if I fell into the trap of allowing myself to get lazy.
Let’s begin with Self-Responsibility. Being responsible for
the things that you do, and taking that responsibility
seriously, is a major milestone in becoming successful – at anything!
How do you know if you are a responsible person?
Do you always begin work on time? This means that
even if you are working at home, you begin your
day at approximately the same time each day.
Do you manage distraction effectively? If you can’t control
the things that take you away from your work, then
you are not managing your time very well. You may
mean well, but to others you may be tagged as irresponsible.
Self-reliance is important because it shows others that you
are confident in your abilities. If you have confidence in yourself,
then others will be drawn to you, and will be more willing to give
you their time, and their business.
Self-respect keeps you in touch with yourself, and helps
tie together your other two “Selfs”.
When you have self-respect, you have personal guidelines that
help others like and respect you.
Self-respect holds things like honesty, integrity, and trust at the
forefront of personal and business dealings. Your self-respect keeps
you in touch with what is important to you.
As with anything else, some of these things are learned
through trial and error. Even though we are often taught
these things growing up, listening, understanding, and
believing is often a difficult concept for youthful desires.
I was a hard study. I often thought that I was working hard,
but would fall short of my goals. It wasn’t until I learned
to control myself (mind, body, and soul) that I finally
was able to overcome most (unfortunately not all) of the
obstacles that were standing in my way of success.
I did become successful by working harder, and becoming
stronger. I later realized that I had gained a close
relationship with my 3 “R’s” which made my successes possible.
By mind-body-soul, I do not mean that you must be able to
drop into some state of sub-conscious enlightenment at the
drop of a hat, but that you recognize what directions you
need to be taking – and when.
You need to be able to control your body so that you can
get up and get to work, instead of continually hitting
that “Snooze” button on your alarm. When I get tired, but
I still have work that must be finished, I finish it.
The soul part has nothing to do with being religious, not
that religion will not be helpful at times, but it is
keeping in touch with your “Self”. Something that I have
been talking about for a number of paragraphs!
Self-worth, and how you see yourself
can mean the difference between having extra money at the
end of the month, or needing an extra job.
Having self-worth, and being able to look more kindly on yourself,
has at least 2 major effects on how you do things.
1st Things 1st
– You are more likely to project self-confidence
in the things that you do. Others notice these things very quickly
and may turn away just as quickly.
What does this mean for your bottom line? If you lose
even one person who might have bought from you,
then you are losing valuable revenue that you can’t recoup.
Self-confidence is important in the world of business,
and in life. You can learn self-confidence just as you
can learn to play the piano. Just like the piano, you
must practice generating self-confidence and self-worth.
The more self-worth that you have, the more you are
willing to do the things that will generate a higher
lifestyle for yourself, and therefore, find more money
in your pocket.
How Do I Get, Or Re-gain, Self-confidence?
I really do wish that I could tell you about that
over-the-counter “Magic Pill” that they just came out with
because, it would make things so much easier, but unfortunately,
that pill has not yet been invented, at least to my knowledge.
Just an FYI about what I am going to say to you. Since you are
dealing with habits that have been your “Friends” (or otherwise)
for a gazillion years, it will take a little time and practice
for you to regain self-esteem and self-confidence.
1. Quit calling yourself names
If you have low self-esteem, then you are very prone to
take the blame for anything and everything. Therefore, you
go around telling yourself that “I’m stupid”,
“I am such a bonehead”, and other even less
Here is a major “Marquee Moment” for you. . .
everyone is a “Bonehead” once in a while. And yes, we all
will call ourselves unkind things from time to time.
While you hopefully find that success follows you around,
you may be that person who can’t seem to catch
The difference between success and failure is that success
does not dwell on misfortune, but consumes opportunity.
2. Don’t Overthink!
Plan and be careful in what you do, but DO!
There are so many of my clients who tell me that they
are still “Trying to put things together”. or, that
they “Just can’t quite get it right” (whatever “Right” is).
The fact is, for example, if you are writing a post for your
blog, then you want to make certain that your spelling and
grammar are correct.
One reason that I am doing this now is that I saw a
very minor grammatical mistake on my PUBLISHED blog post.
YEP! I screw up too.
3. Ask Questions And Talk To Friends
First of all, if you need information, simply ask someone
rather than kicking yourself for not knowing the answers.
Also, I am inviting you to sign up with me here, so that I can
answer your questions when they come up.
Above all, if you are doubting yourself, talk to a friend.
If they are a friend, then they will at least be able to see
things objectively. Obviously, that is something that you
can’t do yourself.
Have you ever asked yourself “How can I make life easier and more fun?”
While there is no easy answers to how you can make life easier, and no one but you knows what is making you unhappy, there are certain things that you might be able to do to cheer yourself up a bit.
One thing is to stay busy. The more things that you do, the more interactive that are with others, and the more that you try to learn new things, the less likely it is that you will have time to be sitting around feeling glum.
Staying productive is one of nature’s best remedies for throwing off depression and anxieties. While the learning, and doing new things may bring about newer anxieties, they are of a different kind. The anxieties that you will experience from doing new things, and staying busier are not inner-directed, but outer-directed. That is to say that they become frustrations that will help to keep you motivated. While this is not necessarily true for everyone, it is something that most people find helpful, and can make life easier for you.
For those still having difficulties, then it is important to talk with people,or a professional to sort out why certain feelings continue to arise. Just asking yourself “How can I make my life easier” is not going to solve the problems, it is doing something, and managing your time wisely that will help you to be happy and find more meaning in the things that you do.
a couple of other things that can help are that you can get a bit more organized. If you are not very well organized, you will find that you may not be able to find things that you need very easily. You lose bills that need to be paid, and end up having to pay late fees because you could not find your bill in time.
Make Life Easier
Another very important thing that you can do is to focus on what is important. Is it really important to you to watch that re-run of Gilligan’s Island, or do you think that it might be more important to call your friend because it’s his/her birthday? Is it more important to sleep in that extra hour and be late for work, or make a good impression on your peers and bosses by being on time every day? These are things that only you can decide, and each have their consequences.
To make yourself happy you must try to find just what it is in life that makes you happy, and what will motivate you to do something.
What do you like to do? What do you enjoy doing that passes the time. Almost anything that you can think of can even be a living for you if that is what you desire.
If you like watching movies, you could be a movie critic, but you probably need to go so school to find out what the process of evaluation will look like. If you like playing video games, then there are people who are reviewing video games for a living. If you like showing people things, then why not start a blog. You can help a lot of people by answering questions for them. There is always something that you know more about than someone else.
Doing my best so that you can do yours,
The first part of this article talked about how things may have affected you when you were young, and what kind of label you put on yourself as a result.
Some of us come away with courage and independence, but you may have found yourself questioning your self-worth and abilities.
No matter what you do, if you do not do it with confidence, then you will have a difficult time doing your best work, because you do not feel free enough to try new things. You don’t have the confidence to sell your ideas to yourself, let alone someone else.
I usually tell my clients that maybe a second look (inside) might not be a bad idea. Even a third look if necessary.
If you are going to be successful at what you do, then having self-confidence is a must. No one will want to hire you, be around you, or even date you (if you are in the market) if you lack self confidence. Self-confidence, or lack thereof, shows through whether you want it to or not. Why is it that people who are less qualified than you seem to get the better jobs, more attractive mates, or are more popular at parties? Self-confidence shows in personality and demeanor.
How you see yourself is not just a matter of self-confidence. Some people consider
themselves as self-confident, but don’t choose to participate in those things that
If you are an olympic swimmer, for example, you may be very confident in your ability to swim a 200 meter backstroke, but not so self-confident in your ability to converse with others, or get up and speak in front of an audience.
There are different levels and areas of expertise, and you are certainly different from other people, and have your knowledge and confidence in areas that are different from others.
I you feel that your self-confidence is lacking in almost every area of your life, then you may have a more involved set of circumstances that might be best sorted out by a professional with whom you can discuss your various issues and thoughts.
There are a few things that can be done to help control some of these difficulties, depending upon how serious the issue(s) involved.
Hypnosis is one method that has worked wonders for some people, but is not necessarily the answer for everyone. As a professional hypnotherapist, I helped a woman who had a fear of going out in public (Agoraphobia) to get back to work, shop, and lead a normal life. It is best to consult a professional to determine the best treatment for you.
Most of the problems that you find yourself faced with will have some kind of fear factor involved. Fear of uncertainty (“What do I do next?), fear of the unknown (What will happen next?), or any of the “What ifs?”, or “What will happen?
Self-confidence also lends itself to the belief that someone may be more competent then
they actually are. You may be very social, and seem confident, but yet when you try to
do something, it may not work out for you very often. This may only be do to being disorganized.
There are many reasons why some things don’t get done or accomplished, and being disorganized is certainly one of many reasons. But why do you seem to think others are just better at things than you are?
Well, THEY ARE NOT! Some people are naturally more gifted in some areas, but these people are made up of flesh and blood just like you do, they get sick just like you do, they eat the same foods that you do, and they will die just like you will (sorry for getting morbid here). The point is that we are all pretty similar. Some of us have different advantages than others, and have different abilities. If you were born into a family that was extremely wealthy (such as the Bill Gates’), then you would certainly have a different outlook on things than someone who was born in the poorest part of town.
One of the best ways to overcome your fears is to face them, deal with them, understand them, and find ways to overcome them. They won’t go away on their own, but they will go away if you don’t allow them to control your life.
It takes work to accomplish important things in your life. There will always be fears and other obstacles to your success in life, and there will always be those who can overcome those fears and obstacles to find their successes. How badly to you want to succeed?
Success does not usually find you, but you must go after it. Are you ready for success?
Everyone has heard the phrase “Time is Money”. Wasting time is also wasting part of your precious life. If you are young this means little to you, but if you are getting older, then you are certainly aware of how quickly time passes.
if you are a younger person who is working hard to get ahead. Evidence that time is fleeting is in the way the day goes by so fast, and you are still feeling like you have barely gotten anything done, or are wishing that there were a couple more hours in your day.
Time is going by whether you are doing anything productive or not. Time does not care whether you are rich or poor, young or old, male or female (or other).
Time is not your friend, nor is it your enemy. Time is just something that is here. It is a progression of sorts built into the system of life. We have set up a measuring system, we call it “Time”, and we break it up into different segments and call these segments by various names. We call short periods of time seconds and minutes. Then we have months and years. of course we also decades and millennia.
The name (Time) is not important at all. What is important is that you have only a limited quantity of it. Each of us has a certain amount of time that we are allowed to live breathe, and do things to improve our lives and the lives of others. It is what you do with the time that you have that is important.
Your relationship with time may be as important as your relationship with your family, maybe even more important. How you treat the time that you have can make you happy, or cause you endless nightmares.
It is also how you look at time. If you see time as something that you need to fight against, time will win every battle. Befriend time, use it wisely, and keep a close eye on it so that it doesn’t get away from you. You don’t want time to be that “Big Fish” that got away.
Waking up at retirement age and looking into the mirror realizing that you have wasted most of your life is something that happens all too often.
Don’t be that person. Learn how to use the time that you have to become more productive. Just a few “Tweaks” is often all that it takes to go from “Zero, to Hero”.
How Self-esteem can push you towards success.
It can be, and often is, very difficult for you and others to “Let Go”
of these negative, branded emotions, feelings, attitudes, or whatever
psychological conflict that may manifest itself in terms of emotional
habits and your behavioral responses to them. Self-esteem suffers
under these conditions and success becomes even more difficult to achieve.
Success usually comes to you when, in spite of your inner conflicts,
you can pull together your thoughts and ideas into an organized plan
that overrides your “Branded” fears and emotions which results in
much greater self-esteem. This NEW plan then takes over and you
can now simply follow it through to its finish.
Without the belief that you can accomplish a task that might seem
“superhuman” at times, most people will never even try to make their
dreams a reality. If you are successful, it is likely that you will rate
high on the self-efficacy scales.
Everyone has doubts about their abilities,
but only a few individuals are
able to break through that barrier by finding the right combination to
unlock that mental locker containing all of those negative reminders,
and can clean that locker out. Those who are successful are able to
replace much of the negative information with positive attributes that
will continue to help them succeed for the rest of their lives.
Have you ever wondered why only the top 1% in most any field become
highly successful, while others who still work very hard find varying levels
of success? Much of this is due to how they think about themselves, their
self-esteem, and their abilities. Once you have determined that you can fail,
you have set yourself up TO fail.
What’s the answer? Train your mind to wash out the garbage, and be self-aware
of how you REALLY are, what you can do, and your real self-worth, so that you
can mold your emotions and your outlook into the success that you were meant
to have all along.
Dump Your Trash!
Doing my best, so that
you can do yours.